Your Cock Is The Size Of A Gherkin Pickle!

Oh did I have a winner on the line this morning! Hard he was all of 2 1/2 inches long. I was laughing so hard and he was going crazy as I did laugh at him. It turned him on to be made fun of and talk about cuckold and me fucking another guy with a cock 3 times the size of his as he’d watch. Then he said after the bigger cock guy had fucked me, he wanted to put his little cock inside me and feel the other man’s cum all around his pitiful little dick and then have me tell him I couldn’t even feel him inside, since I’d been stretched out so by the other guys cock.

Small penis humiliation calls are so much fun, it’s so easy to break their little spirits and make them feel like such losers since they are inadequately sized to please a woman. There’s all kinds of guys that call for all sorts of reason for various kinds of taboo phone sex , this is just one of the more common calls we girls get. I know to outsiders it must seem mean that we are making fun of them for things they can’t change, but they enjoy it, they really do. Even ones without small cocks are into cuckold, it’s pretty popular, but for small penis guys, it’s usually because they know they can’t satisfy their women personally, so they want someone else to at least get the job done.

Their little balls the size of acorns and their tiny little dicks that most women wouldn’t even be able to feel inside, it’s a sad world for the micro penis guys that can barely even grab at their dicks, most just rub it like a clit, since it’s too small to actually grasp like a cock an average size man would have. Humiliation and being made to feel bad about themselves has been so drummed into them it’s normal now, and anything else seems odd to them.

Let’s Play, Shall We?

Not every guy calling up a phone sex line is looking for weird fetishes or crazy stuff, thank goodness. Some want just regular, run of the mill vanilla phone sex and or mutual masturbation. A suck and fuck call can be mind numbingly boring for some operators, to others, we like nothing better than going over the basics while you as you masturbate. Making your solitary experience just a little bit more cheery by doing for you what we can to get you off.

Most that call for this type of phone sex call are just looking for nice, tame sex. Some can even end up venturing into the realm of the girlfriend experience calls. One of my nice regulars that calls loves to start of with me sucking on his cock and a hand job and then maybe fucking my big tits. Then pinning me down and fucking me missionary as I wrap my legs around him all nice and tight and pumping him deeper into me as I squeeze his ass cheeks and then flip me over and start to pound me doggy style hard, all the way up to the balls. Grabbing my tits and squeezing them, pushing his dick in so hard and me milking it so good.

When he’s feeling really naughty, he likes to talk about pounding my ass and driving me crazy fingering my cunt while he drives it in right when his cock is still all sticky from my juices. He usually cums at least 2-3 times on each call with not much of a rest in between. He likes to have a different position for each round, but he’s not into anything strange or distasteful. Some guys have more extreme needs I know and we phone girls usually can satisfy those needs, but a nice, suck and fuck call is just fine for guys that like plain. There’s nothing wrong with straight if that’s where your interests lie.

Lingerie & Stockings Phone Sex Fantasies


One of the more old fashioned and sexy types of fetishes that phone sex callers like to call about is stocking and lingerie. Not ones that want to wear it themselves mind you there are plenty of that ilk that call as well. Ones that love to see it on their ladies and will ask either if I’m wearing it or what I own, every kind of garment out there has their fans. One client called for over 9 hours to talk about his ex wife’s collection of girdles if you can believe it. How much he loved to fuck her in every position as she was poured into the tight, restrictive garment turned him on no end.

Others adore the classic stockings and garter belts, or as the Brits call them, suspenders. One said it framed the ass and pussy perfectly, and they really do. If you haven the body to pull off such attire, your man will thank you for dressing up for him like a pretty package to unwrap and enjoy. Some callers will even tell me they want a woman to sleep wearing panties and lingerie, which for someone like myself that sleeps nude, seems unbearable. Some have even told me they love to only have sex while the woman is wearing the items, pulling the crotch of panties to the side and fucking with the items still on.

They are die hard fans of the stockings and lingerie to love it that much! The feel of the fabrics against their skin, some adore the feeling of nylons and pantyhose and the stockings under their hands as they are running them all over the woman’s body. Many do of course love to sport such items themselves, but that’s another story. What are you wearing is one of the first questions a man asks when I answer the phone usually, and most hope it’s something pretty and slinky and silky.

Take This Cock And Suck It


Without a doubt most guys love blow jobs, so many call up the phone sex line and tell me it’s their very favourite thing to have done to them sexually. Some are so in love with them, they prefer them even to fucking. I’ve had some clients ask me to just suck on my finger or a toy and hear me slurping away on it as they close their eyes and imagine it’s me working on their cock, drooling all over it, taking it all the way to the back of my throat as I gag on it. So many adore the gagging sounds when they call me up for cheap phone sex.

One caller of mine expects most women to go down on him on a first date, yet he said he wouldn’t even consider going down on girl unless she’d been tested for STD’s and was his monogamous girlfriend! Gee, bit of a double standard, wouldn’t you say? They do love the nice, sloppy blow jobs and licking of the entire length of their cock and sucking their balls. One used to want me to say over and over, “balls, balls, balls!” He wanted the balls to have just as much if not more so attention as his cock did. They are truly loving the tongues and lips on their cocks. Many speak of their cum as if it’s some sort of prized liquid gold. A highly sought after elixir of the gods that women should adore and seek out.

Oral sex is almost taken for granted that you’ll do it, even if you don’t know them that well it seems these days. Clients ask all the time when they call up for phone sex how many guys have you given blow jobs to? They seem quite interested in just how much of a slut you really are! And so many like to finish that blow job off with a nice facial. Splattering the woman’s face with their spunk. Coating her with their cum and having it drip off their face, like a dog marking its territory.

Let Me Love You Over The Phone

I’m a loving girl, what can I say. I have more love to give than there’s anyone in my life to take, sadly. So I thought there’s a lot of lonely guys that call up phone sex lines and maybe I could find some guys on there that are like me, they like to talk and masturbate with another person, but just may not have anyone to do that with. I’ve been talking to some of the same guys for several years, and I know they genuinely like me and some of them I enjoy talking to as well. You get so you have a kinship with some of them.

I like hearing about their day and then the talk turns naughty and you help them out and turn them on and they start stroking their cocks as you tell them to and get them all turned on. Telling them to glide their hand up and down their shaft, add a bit of lube and get it hard for you. Some of them like to put the phone down to their cock and you can hear the wet, squishy noise it makes as they pump it up and down and they start to breathe heavier and get more and more aroused as you instruct them how to jerk off. Some certainly enjoy the guided masturbation that you give to them as you talk.

Some girlfriend experience callers like to hear you say I love you, many don’t have anyone in real life to tell them that, so it’s nice to give them that something the are lacking. Some will latch on a bit too much and really start to fall in love with you, but most of the time they will cool it when you explain it’s not going any further than phone sex between the two of you. I like being there for my callers, and they know they can count on me to be there for them, too.

Your Cock In Lock Down


Phone sex is an outlet for some men that are into wearing male chastity devices and tease and denial. Some call up wearing those CB 3000 things or similar ones. Some have been in lock down for upwards of three months when they call. Some have had Mistresses lock them in them and they don’t even have a key to get out. Or many will call after they have been unlocked after a period of prolonged chastity and they have been allowed to cum.

They have chosen to call me for their 24-72 hour long respite of penile imprisonment. One even emailed me pics of himself not only in a store bough chastity device, but he’d welded his own belt to keep it in place and even more secure and less tempted to try and escape it. He said he’d worn it for as long as 6 months at a time and as it had slots for air circulation, and water escaping, he said he’d soak in the bath every few days to make sure everything got clean around it since he couldn’t wash in the regular way. It looked beyond confining and uncomfortable, but he was quite happy to be in such a device.

Tease and denial callers may not be in actual chastity devices, but like you to bring them to the brink of orgasm and then stop, over and over and over again. They want to be denied and sometimes have what they call a ruined orgasm. If they want me to deny them, that’s fine. Some will ask if they can cum if you allow them to tip you, them I love. They are desperate to cum so badly, many haven’t had an orgasm in weeks or even months, so they are easy money to get tips out of in that condition of desperation. I find that amusing and profitable to tease them like that.

Fuck My Tits

One of the clients who called up last night for phone sex was interested in how big my breasts were, I told him they were a D cup and he loved that, I said why, are they better than smaller ones? He said yes, much better to fuck and lay his cock between than smaller ones, it turned him on and he asked how big my nipples were and the colour of the areolas. He wanted all the details. Then he asked if I’d ever lactated, he was into breast milk fetish.

I said yes, I’d had a child years ago and had breastfed and how much my husband enjoyed it, since he too drank from my breasts and nursed on them so lovingly and played with them and made the milk squirt out. He liked to titty fuck when my tits were full of milk and when I’d squeeze them to make them wrap around his cock the mille would go all over my hands and fingers and his cock as it leaked out, he loved that. I always thought it a bit messy, but it turned him on a great deal and he was always asking me to let my breasts fill up for a few hours before fucking.

I recall when I was nursing a bit of an embarrassing incident at a store. I was really full with milk and needed to pump some out and I started to leak and my top had wet spots and a teenage boy couldn’t stop staring at my chest and I could see him getting hard in front of me, he was obviously quite aroused at the thought of me dripping milk. No doubt he was dripping pre cum at the thought of it! I bet he’d have loved to have fucked me right there in the store and latch onto one of my breasts and suckled.

Tea and Sympathy

tea and sympathy

One thing some clients ask about is advice. Advice about their relationships, if they are in one, or if they are not how to get in one and attract a woman. I think people in general, phone sex callers or not, usually do not take advice at all. They ask someone’s opinion until they find one that mirrors their own and go with that one, or not even one at all and just do nothing and sit in limbo. So many call the phone sex lines looking for a dimestore psychologist that will tell them how to fix their problems. Most however are quite comfortable in their ruts and will do nothing.

Limbo is their comfortable home they are reluctant to leave. Change is painful, and if married and you’re advising them to leave their cold fish of a wife they haven’t loved for years and refer to as the bitch, can be expensive to extricate themselves from, so they accept things as they are. Most people are like this. It’s easier to do nothing and complain than actually get off your duff and do something constructive to actually start to change things permanently for the better. It’s just too much work and staying as they are is a lot easier.

I can’t even count the number of callers I’ve told to leave their wives, forget that she’d take half what they’ve accumulated. Their money means more than their freedom. If that’s how they want to live, let them. They have the keys to their own prison cell and are choosing to not leave the cell. You can’t reason with them, pitiful. They however need to masturbate too, so I do my best with them and make them cum. They want tea and sympathy, not true advice, as they have no desire to really do anything, to really change. They just want someone to feel sorry for them and agree with them, not tell them to actually do anything.

Hey There Lonely Guy

Many of the reasons men call for phone sex isn’t just because they are horny, some call because they literally have no one else to talk to, they are lonely. Many are not married, or have no girlfriend. Many that do even are very separated and in sexless, loveless marriages with cold, neglectful women that hate sex and don’t give them any, not any affection at all. Some are workaholics and have no life at all really except for business, yet seek female companionship of some sort that’s safe and available to them at any hour they need us.

I’ve had clients sing to me many times, read poems they wrote, play the guitar, tell me secrets they’ve never told another living soul because they are worried or ashamed to do so. Some will confess things they’ve done with another man they know their wife would be horrified to hear about, or with a tranny or a shemale. Just secrets they want to share with someone and talk about openly, yet have no one to do so with in their own lives. We phone gals are very much like sexual psychiatrists in many ways, listening to the dark and sometimes odd thoughts our clients unburden themselves onto us.

In a way it’s a privilege, yet it can take a toll if the secrets are too dark, the fantasies too upsetting. I can only imagine what it’s like to have such thoughts at all and have no one to share them with, not even a spouse you’ve known for decades, it must be sad. Some that like to crossdress, or use anal toys on themselves, yet are afraid their wife would think they were gay if they did so, so it’s all kept a dark and dirty secret and shared with us, their secret phone line confessors.

I’ve Got An Apple Up My Ass


What sorts of things do callers say, well many confess things they have either done in the past or are doing as we talk to them. There are fruit fuckers and vegetable fuckers out there. I’ve talked to ones with carrots, cucumbers, and even an apple up his ass. The carrot and the cucumber I can kind of understand in a bizarre way, but an apple? Really? What makes you wake up and say to yourself, today I’m going to stick an apple up my ass? No idea if it was a tiny little crabapple, or a big Macintosh. All I can think of, is don’t eat pies at his house…

Some have used bananas and eaten them afterwards. Sort of like hiding the evidence in the best way they can think of to do so. I heard of one woman that used to fuck herself with vegetables and then cut them up and serve them to family and friends at a barbecue picnic. I was horrified, thinking of her pussy juices all those poor unsuspecting souls were ingesting. I mean, if you want to do that and eat your own vegetables that have been up your pussy and ass, feel free to do so, gross as it is, but making others ingest it when they have no clue? Fuck, that is sick and disturbed. The movie “American Pie” I think drove the fruit fuckers into high gear, giving ones ideas they shouldn’t be putting into practice.

I’d like to know after that movie how many guys actually tried to fuck a pie, I’m betting it’s not a small number! Sliding their dicks into a hole cut into a watermelon or a cantaloupe or pumpkin. It happens. I guess it’s a cheap sex toy, disposable, biodegradable, just a little odd. Fairly harmless though. So I dare you to go to the supermarket and buy a cucumber and a tube of lube, nothing else-and go up to the teller and see her expression and that of the fellow shoppers!